Amusement Turf
by justgivingmytwoshekel'sworth
Summary: in a parallel universe all the yuru yuri characters are black
1. Hood Lyfe Iz Good Lyfe

Kukojino Kyouko woke up with a start. She was feeling very hungry and craving for some fried chickens. She yelled to her mom, "Ayooooooo bitch gibe de chicken tendies plz!"

Her mom, who was in the process of fucking her new boyfriend Chad, asked her to go fuck herself.

Kyouko had little choice but head out. She took the stairs because she did not learn how to take the lift. Her mom tried teaching her how to take the lift but gave up after many failed attempts. The buttons always confuse her which is why she never managed to learn to take lifts.

"Fuck dayum deez sun be hawt!" She complained as she took out her welfare check. It was exactly enough for 5 pieces of chicken tendies. She swaggered down the streets mouthing her favourite fuck the police rap.

She reached Wendy's. She tried opening the door but it won't bulge. She pushed harder. Still doesn't work. Suddenly she was shoved aside by a strong man wearing a confederate flag shirt.

"It's pull, you fucking cunt. What are you doing out here anyhow, you fucking nigger bitch. Get back to your ghetto!"

Racist! Kyouko got triggered so she pictured in her mind her ancestors — Egyptian kings who wuz kangz n shiet.

This gave her courage to assault the hillbilly. She kicked him in the shin, immediately knocking him out.

"Don't try to maek de black crack, fucking white trash," she spat on him and went into the Wendy's.

"Chicken tendies, 5 plz nigger," she yelled at the top of her voice as people watched her. Suddenly she heard the revving of motorcycle engines. She looked back. Many bulky white men entered Wendy's.

"Fuckin unemployed white trash…"

Suddenly, the most muscular in the group, a man with an #AllLivesMatter tattoo and an open carry pistol came forward and asked, "who is the dumb cunt that knocked this fella out?" while pointing to the unconscious man.

Everybody pointed at Kyouko. "Fucking fags sold me out. Shiet nigger!"

The man immediately started discussing among themselves.

"What the fuck! Not a fucking nigger again, I had enough of these trash!"

"Burn that bitch and tear her welfare check!"

"Should we use the Second Amendment on her?"

As they were in heated discussion, Kyouko made for the run.

"Oh shit nigger gotta GTFO smh white people dumb shiets tryna ruin mi thug lyfe."

"Stop right there!"

The motorcycle gang started chasing after her. Good thing Kyouko had experience trespassing so she jumped over a fence easily. The motorcycle gang members were not that agile. Seeing that their target is getting away, they started to practice their rights to bear arms.

Thankfully their aim was poor so no bullets hit her. She ran for home but remembered that Chad is still there. So she headed for her gang leader Yuiz Jamal Tyrone Fuknami.

She approached the back alley. It was the sacred "Amusement turf", the main turf of her gang. She often have a gud tiem with her homies there smoking crack and extorting money and shietz. Yuiz Jamal Tyrone Fuknami, the gang leader, was notified of the racist attack and already was there.

"Yo sup nigga what da fuk happened to u?"

Yuiz Jamal Tyrone Fuknami eyed Kyouko with concern. Her homie wuz looking tired and shiet.

"Fuck damn! I git attacked by an white trash gang. They be emptying their gats on me. SMFH nigga!"

Yuiz Jamal Tyrone Fuknami tensed up. This is it, she thought, fucking racism has gone too far. She haz to bring justice for her homie. "Fuk deez an emergency. Kyouko, deploy AK-47 Akaza down street 12 to here. I be telling Yoshitnigga Chinatshit come here too."

Minutes later all 4 were in the Amusement turf.

"Fuk nigga wtf u be calling me here fo? I be fucking wif quality weed fam. Damn nigga shietz' wasted!" Chinatshit complained. However, deep down she was joyed cuz she admire Yuiz. She wanted to become Yuiz— a successful gang leader with good palate for weed.

AK-47 was more empathetic. "Shietz be going down nigga? Iz there capz i need to bust?"

Kyoko told them about what happened to her.

Everyone started raging.

"What da fuk deez white trash be fuked fking white pple shietz SMFH damn fuk i iz so mad fuk fuking #killallwhites #blacklivesmatter #wewuzkangznshiet" Chinatshit raged.

AK-47 drew out her pistol. "Yolo nigga gonna cap deez homos wif mi pistolo. Trololo!"

Yuiz facepalmed. "SMH shietz wack af fuking quit rap alr fam."

AK-47 wuz hurted. She always got the short end of the stick cos of her low swag power. Maybe she will get more respect by killing the hillbilly riders. I'll fuking be de mvp in da hood. Fuk yeah! She thought.

Yuiz went to get her collection of weapons and handed each of them a tec-9. She herself got an AR-15.

"Let's go niggaz!"

Soon they started searching for the bikers. A police car stopped them over. Yuiz said "fuk de police" so the police got out of the car and beat her up. AK-47 drew out her tec-9 and shot in the air. The police shat his pants so he went back to car.

"Shiet fam dat wuz noice gud fuking job my nigga," Yuiz said to AK-47.

It was the first time AK-47 got praised. She wuz happy n shiet so she started rapping again.

"Hez palms r sweaty, kneez wik, arms r heavy…"

"Dafaq iz dat Eminumz?"

"Fuking race traitor! Y u listen to White Trash."

"Slim Shady… kys u fuking wack fag."

AK-47 decided to keep her mouth shut.

Just then a group of bikerz approached them. They wuz chanting "Vote for Trump". They see the group and stopped. Kyouko pointed at them in alarm. It was the same group that attacked her.

"Heh, a group of jiggaboo bitches."

"What say we do to them, cletus?"

Just then, the so called Jiggaboo bitches started firing at them. 4 of them dropped dead immediately. "Holy fuk itz an assault! Time to do what our forefathers did!"

Soon the 2 groups opened fire at each other. Yuiz n gangz had more success because the hillbillies had poor aim. Soon, 10 of them were down.

The leader of the hillbillies saw that he is running out of luck. "Quick, unleash the ultimate weapon!" Another man nodded and tossed a molotov cocktail at them.

Boom! The molotov cocktail hit AK-47 in deez nutz."Ow it hurtz!" she yelled before losing consciousness. The rest of the gang fled.

"Fuk! We gotta bury de body and hide the evidence before the pigs arrive!" Chinatshit said.

Kyoko went to find helpers. She saw a Mexican pulling out weeds at the front door. He got a shovel with him.

"Ayudame, por favor?"

The Mexibro helped them dig a hole. They placed AK-47 in it.

"Sorry homie. We will never forgetti." Sobbed Kyoko.

Suddenly AK-47 woke up. She saw the ground around her and panicked. She scrambled out of her hole and aimed her pistol at the Mexican.

"Fuk u want fucking spic cunt!"

She saw her homies there too. She asked them what happened and they explained that they tried to bury her to hide the evidence.

The went back to the bloodshed. The bodies of the 10 men was still there. To not arouse suspicion they tried to make it seem like a suicide. They wrote a suicide note and put it on the ground. On it reads "We wuz gay n shietz. Some nigga called us a faggot. We wuz feeling hurt so we kms."

They left the crime scene. Justice have being served and Kyoko thanked her homies by inviting them to a chicken tendies meal. They ate like a starving child in Africa. Then they said goodbye and returned to their respective turf.

Kyoko returned home happy af. Mom was still fucking Chad but she did not give a fuck. Life iz gud.


	2. The Student Cooncil KKKlub

Kukojino was at home having nuthang to do so she wuz stretching her toes n shietz. This seemingly simple action tired out cos she git the lazy genes from her ancestors.

"Fuk dis shietz fo real lyfe be so hard fuk AmeriKKKa i jus wanna liv mah thug lyfe pray hard Bernie becumz president so I can git free shietz lmao," Kukojino whined.

Suddenly the phone rang.

"Ey yo mom git me the fone plz"

Mom, who was fucking Chad once again, asked her to fuck herself.

Kukojino reluctantly received the call. To her delight it wuz Yuiz Fuknami.

"Ey yo listen here git the fuk down 2 Amusement Turf rite now cuz shietz be goin' down fam."

Finally sumfing to do! Kukojino grabbed her gats and git the fuk outta the house.

Mom heard the door open so she hollered "Yo mah lil biatch git me sum of dat durex when u return plz i be runnin' out of stock and i'm sure u ain't wunt an niglet in us househol."

"Ay ay ay no fukking way!" Kukojino sticked her tongue out, taunting her bitch mom.

Jus then Chad stormed out of the room with a whip in his handz. Ayoooo no! Kukojino was about to git whipped liek her ancestors who belonged to Thomas Jefferson n shietz.

So Kukojino ran down the stairs faster than her Ugandan brotha Usain Bolt.

"Wew dat wuz close i almos becumz a slav nigga!"

But she wuz wrong.

An polis officer suddenly approached her with a noose in his hands. She read his nametag and it sayz "Officer George".

"Where iz ur license miss black pple cannot walk on deez partz without walking privilege license."

Martin Luther King be cryingz frum heaven! Kukojino cud not stand the racism so she said "Yo white boi better be done wit runnin' yo filfy mouf else me n gangz be emptying our 9 no yo white azz."

Little did she know that the officer was none other than Geroge Zimmerman. The one man klan. The zero tolerance man. The "unflimflammable zim zam".

"Prepar 2 die u stupid azz nigger," George niggerman held Kukojino at gunpointz.

Kukojino haz decided to use her advantage as a gurl so she shouted "RAAAAAPE!"

3 Feminists, 2 White Knights from Reddit and 1 Swedecuck suddenly appeared and mobbber George Zimmerman.

Whore-hey Zimmerman wuz attacked on all sides.

The swedecuck suddenly pulled down his pantz, exposing his bare anus. He then proceeded on to pull down Zimmerman's pants

"I am going to punish you, bigot," he said before thrusting heself down.

The restrained Zimmerman watched in horrer as the Swedecuck sodomised himself on his junk.

"Sayonara cracka," Kukojino spat on Jorge for the final niall in the coffee.

She then realised the ordeal made her l8 so she hurried fast.

Yuiz wuz pizzed.

"Yo nigga foh yo l8 af dafaq iz wrong wif u man errbody showed up but u fukking nig nog man!"

"Fuk u man wuz harazzed by dem hwite supremacis nigga smfo AmeriKKKa fo real."

"K wateva biatch anw hv heared the annual gangz meetin' diz year?"

"Ey yo tell me mo nigga!"

Kukojino wuz thrilled. Iz an tradishun fo their gangz 2 meet up wif their closest ally Student Cooncil KKKlub. Student Cooncil KKKlub was founded in Miami but had recently expanded in other parts of Florida and other states. It was quite significant and notorious in the south.

Kukojino lieked the Cooncil and she used to have a gud tiem rollin' with dem. One tiem during halowween dey ganged up wit the Cooncil and knocked on doorz in rich white hoods, not for treats but instead for reparation. They earned nuffin but their friendship was sealed through dis.

"We be leavin' 2mr so pack yo bags."

The next day they meeted up at the airport. During her stay when she iz away, Yui had gibbed leadership to Akaneger, the sis of AK-47. Akaneger accepted the leadership eagerly.

Den dey were off fo miami. Mom wuz s'posed to send Kukojino off but the buttfuking frum Chad wuz 2 dayum slayyyyy.

So off dey went onboard the plane. Yuiz managed to order a nigger-friendly flight so dey had sum gud tiem on board. The nigger-friendly flight served kool-aid n chickenz, watermelonz n shietz, none of those classy white devilz shietz liek foe grass or watever shietz white pple eat. Enturteinmen wuz even better cuz dey ken hv Wu-tangz, Niggaz Wif Autism and Lil B, nawt thos borin' af Vivaldi or Orpheus of tha Underground dat only clean-neighborhud, privileged white folks dig.

The plane soon did a not so smooth landing and dey looked outside. Miami was a fuking shithole! Dey were landed on grass, not even tarmac fo touchdown.

The announcement blared, "Crocodiles have built a nest on one of our runways so we are unable to land on dem. We apologize for any inconveniences. Also, please watch out for crocs when you exit the plane."

So they went outside. Good thing they were the first to exit so they had plenty of time to board the shuttle bus. The not so lucky ones were stranded there and eventually git eaten.

They reached the airport building.

A news report blared on one of the TVs.

"49 fags have being slaughtered by our home-grown terrorist Omar Marteen. The orlando niteclub shootout was perhaps the most destructive man-made disaster in Florida, second only to the great alligator coup d'etat in 1979. I have come to the end of the news segment. Richard will move on to the joke of the day."

Another man took over. "Hello everyone thank you for warching my name is Richard and today I will tell you a joke so good it's gonna blow your mind."

"So a muslim man walked into a gay bar and said, 'shots for everyone!'"

"Dayum nigguh das sick tbh dis guy be disrespekt fo real."

"Hiis azz shud be fired fam!"

Suddenly another news segment appeared.

"Crocodiles has claimed yet another victim. A boy with autism has mistaken a crocoodile for his idol Leafyisqueer. He was devoured shortly after trying to sodomize the beast. His family is grieving rite now— "

"— Bitch hol up I don't give a fuck about him at all. That autist had it coming anyways." The father's dad suddenly interrupted and spoke into the reporter's mic.

"Wewlad Florida sure iz krayzie af. A shithole wif apes living init foreal." Even the niggers were disgusted.

They reached the carpark where they could see a gang of mestizos setting cars on fires. Not even the most dangerous of ghettos had such lawlessness in California, let alone in airports. So everyone of them agreed that Florida wuz the officially most based state.

"Dayum nigga if i be livin' here i cud literally knock down dem towerz and still git reparashunz lel," Chinatshit commented.

The rest cracked up and began ooh-ing and aah-ing and smacking their lips.

"Kukojino Kyoko!" A voice suddenly interrupted their fun.

The four of dem watched in awe as a posh limosine pulled up. Student Cooncil's leader, Ayanochill Sugiura stepped out of the car.

"Ayanochill!" Yuiz rushed forward and hugged her.

Ayanochill wuz dressed in riches. She haz gold chainz on and looks like a queen. The rest stared at her in jealousy.

Ayanochill's assistant, Chitown "Chimpout" Ikeza wuz there too. She wuz delited to c Kukojino there.

So dey sat in the limosine. Chitown for some reason insisted that Kukojino sit wit Ayanochill. Ayanochill blushed the entire tiem as Kukojino blabbered about how she respekted her weed bizness and her gang leadership.

On the way they wuz briefed about gangz n shietz. Apparently Florida wuz abound wif rouge hispanic gangz who wud bust a cap on a homeless child if doing that gibes dem street creds. Deez gangz usually address each other by "ese" and lieked to wear red to show dominance.

They are vicious af. Some reported that the red dyes on their clothes and bandanas were actually blood of their enemies. Otherz even said that they were soaked with the blood of slain copz. Everyone feared the hispanic gangz.

Among the many hispanic gangz one stood out. It was called La Quita Estar leb by the infamous Druglord Konata ¿Iz u mi puta?.

While the others were in heated discussion on how to avoid and deal with the spics, Yuiz wuz quietly thinking in one corner.

"What'z the matter homie?" Ayanochill noticed Yuiz spacing out and interrogated the gang leader.

"Sumfing ain't feelingz rite nigga… it seems liek I Hv forgotten sumfing…" Yuiz wuz deep in thought. Indeed something seemed out of place. Perhaps she had forgotten about something? Or probably someone?

CRAP.

"Fuk we hav forgotten to bring AK-47 here nigga!" Yuiz suddenly snapped back to reality. The others shouted in alarm and the ride slowly descended into a state of disarray...


End file.
